More strange than actually uttering the 'S' word is being in a state of accepting this fact. I got my 'Intent to Graduate' form in my mail box the other day (still haven't filled it out), and the first thought that occurred to me was 'I hope I didn't leave the stove on this morning'. I'm not looking forward to graduating by any means, but I'm dreading nothing.
These first two weeks I've spent most (too much) of my time sitting in front of the townhouse with neighbors, chatting over grilled food and some combination of moon and stars framing the steamy shadow of our long exhales. If it's getting chilly in Vermont, I won't be surprised when it takes a while for us to notice.
Since I've been at Saint Mike's I've visited two countries, done summer research, had a favorite prof every semester, moved seven times, seen dozens of concerts, and passed too many nights without sleep. Nights spent skipping out on that last bit of reading for an impromptu gypsy punk show downtown have taught me just as much as disciplined study time has. I took five semesters to declare a major, and even still I'd change it again if I had more time. If a single thing I've learned, it's that I'll never know as much as I'd like to.
As a way of acknowledging my culminating year here as a student, I'll devote a certain amount of my posts these coming semesters to lessons I've learned as an undergrad. Numero Uno: Being Okay with the Fact that I Can't Do, or Think, Everything.
My first year here, I claimed to want to study two majors with two minors, while also ski racing, while also participating in clubs and completing liberal arts requirements and sleeping and eating (seriously, I blogged about it). Senior year that is not the case, and I'm a happy person for it.
Having changed majors from social sciences to natural sciences back to social sciences and everything in-between, I feel I learned most by struggling to eventually find my path. Being open to taking classes that don't necessarily fill requirements (that might even make next semester harder) has broadened my base of inquiry, and part of that has been growing to accept that I don't have to be an expert in every field that I'm interested in. I probably won't be a biologist or a philosopher, but having exposure to those fields has given me a breadth of experience that I can't attempt to articulate. I realize that if at any moment I think I know something, that's probably because I'm not thinking.
Ideally I'll have some semblance of job prospects when I leave this campus, and my econ professor assured our Macro class today that this is true. But even if I end up in a cabin in the woods or a van down by the river, I doubt I'll ever be at a loss for things to think about (mostly, how I'll miss the french fries in Alliot).
Thanks for reading ;)